Daze

bALI

Some days

I run around in my head with you, you plait my hair and I lay, heavy-headed on your belly and we laugh, big warm laughs that make my face ache

Some days

The radio plays, and each strum of the melody stiffens my jaw and I can do nothing but stare ahead at the life you left us with. How dare you leave us with this?

Some days

Your name cannot roll off my lips without every inch of my body writhing in pain. These days I can’t stop the blurred vision and the pools of tears around my collar-bone

Some days

Death is a dark cloud that hangs over me, waiting around every corner to pounce. It laces it’s fingers through my day and makes me squint at the sun

Some days

Death is the light that we are all guaranteed. The whisper of permission to live with full lungs and laughter, to love and embrace and not take anything too seriously

Most days

None of it really makes sense, I ride the motions like waves and I try not to sink, although sometimes it feels like I am not sinking at all, but standing on the solid foundation of a women that you played a part in building

Every day

I miss you. Like a breath in and out. Like a swallow, ever-present and without thought.

I miss you.

Every day.

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